The Stranger on the Doorstep
by tessmagnolia
Summary: Set during and slightly after 11:21, with a few not so subtle changes. Abby recieves a visiter after a rough day at work Carby


OCOH July 05 Challenge:_ In episode 11:21 the writers made a huge mistake, the line "I'm not living with out you. I love you." was directed at the wrong person. The challenge is to start with that line aimed at the 'right' person and just go with it! They can be anywhere, but it has to be in Season 11, episode 21._

_Using 1500 – 2000 words._

**The Stranger on the Doorstep**

"I'm not living without you." The water dripped off the end of his nose as his eyes bore deep into hers. "I love you."

She couldn't move, couldn't speak, but seemed to find the pools of water forming at his feet mesmerizing. His words were coming from, what she thought was, nowhere. This man had spent the last year either avoiding her or feigning indifference when she made the effort to try and talk to him; and now here he was declaring his love for her to say that she was in shock was an understatement.

"I love you." He repeated firmly. Watching her for some sign of reciprocation; while his left hand ran nervously through his hair. "Abby?" He chocked out her name, his confidence starting to drain.

She finally looked him in the eye and immediately wished she hadn't. His look was one of pain and fear, a look she was now causing. One that she really shouldn't be.

"Carter… John." She stumbled over his name. "What are you doing?"

"I thought I was…" He shook his head in disbelief of his actions, with tiredness etched across his drained face. "I shouldn't have come."

As he started to move away Abby reached out to touch his arm. "But you did come." A subtle nod from Abby gave John all the incentive he needed to follow her into the apartment.

"Do you want a coffee?"

"No." He took his coat off and hung it next to Abby's on the coat stand.

"Tea?"

"No thanks." He moved to the living room, pausing in front of the couch.

"Water?" She grasped the final straw.

"I'm fine" He swallowed slowly, then asked. "Did you hear what I said?" as he slumped down onto the right-hand side of her comfortable couch.

Abby watched his nervous actions and decided to nod slowly. Certain that this was going to be a long night ahead, she filled her glass with water and then went to join him on the opposite side of the couch. Her mouth was surprisingly dry, with a bitter taste starting to form as she nervously pictured the conversation ahead of them.

Taking a sip from her glass her eyes never left his as she tried to read his thoughts, in an attempt to figure out just exactly what was going through his head and why now, after nearly two years he suddenly dropped back into her life with this huge bombshell. But it was like he was wearing a mask, she knew it was too much to hope for that their connection would still be there after all this time.

Putting her glass on the coffee table she turned back to Carter and asked. "What's wrong John?"

It felt like an eternity as Carter tried to start, trying to make sure his words reflected everything he needed to say; but it was too much for him at that point. He had already drained his confidence levels once that night; he wasn't quite ready to do that again. So he said the first thing that came into his mind, which was actually the catalyst that had prompted this whole revelation and subsequent visits. "I heard you and Jake broke up."

Abby felt her heart contract, Jake was, in her eyes, little more than a fling and yet their break-up was getting to her more than she thought it should. What she couldn't understand is why Carter would even ask her, as far as she knew he didn't even know they were going out.

Then it hit her, it was the Luka thing coming back to haunt her again. And this is where the whole declaration was coming from. That bastard, she thought, her anger starting to escalate. She stood up and her breathing increased as she tried to control it, but even that didn't stop the ensuing slap.

Her right hand reached out and, with a force she didn't know she had, Abby administered a slap full of all the anger, hatred and hurt she had accumulated over the past few years.

"Ow!" Carter yelped in pain rubbing his sore cheek, which was turning redder each second that passed. "What was that for?"

Abby shot him a glare that told him everything he needed to know and told him she was pissed that he had evoked this kind of emotion out of her.

He rubbed at his aching jaw. "I'm sorry,"

Abby's eyes narrowed down at him and just as sudden as her anger flared up it deflated. She sighed, her emotions were on their own rollercoaster tonight, "It's okay." And decided to rejoin him on the couch; after all, it wasn't every day the man your heart once claimed as your soul mate declared his love. "I shouldn't have over reacted."

"You had every right; I didn't know you and Jake were that serious..."

"…you think that was about Jake." Abby interrupted; stunned that he could be so naïve of her feelings.

"Well…" He trailed off.

"You don't think any of it could be your fault?" The accusation dripped off her tongue.

"Well."

"Is that all you're going to say tonight?"

"I've already said what I wanted to say."

"And what a bombshell that was." Her infuriation dripped from each syllable. "What exactly did you hope to achieve when you came here tonight?"

"I'm not sure." His sad eyes watched her ringing her hands.

"Did you think now that Jake was out of the picture maybe Abby was lonely again and you could get yours jollies nice and easy."

"No!" He exclaimed, but she was on now on a roll. Not an angry roll, but nevertheless one that wouldn't be stopped.

"You're as bad as Luka." That caught his attention, even now after everything that had happened he was still jealous over Luka's involvement with Abby's past. "You break up with me and before your side of the bed is even cool you're off doing god knows what with anything in a skirt."

"That isn't fair."

"Really? So how would you describe it?"

"I was lonely and in a bad place. I needed to be comforted."

"And I couldn't do that?"

"You were pre-occupied." He scoffed.

"Don't make excuses. Eric was ill, but I was there for both of you as much as I could be without pulling myself in two."

"Right." Carter replied sarcastically.

"Listen to me." She grabbed his arms and waited for him to look her in the eyes. "I was there for you as best as I could. I'm sorry your Grandmother died and I'm sorry that you thought I wasn't there for you. But you had so many people around you that loved you, and Eric just had me. I wouldn't change what I did back then because I know I would never have seen Eric again. I just wish you could have seen that I had to do that. I just wish that that hadn't have been the catalyst that sent you fleeing the continent and into the arms of another woman."

"I wasn't thinking clearly."

"But clearly you thought you'd found the answer in Africa."

"At the time, maybe."

"You got a woman pregnant, in a country dying because of Aids and other diseases. You _clearly_ must have thought something of her to even get in that kind of situation."

"The baby was an accident. We used protection."

"Well I guess that makes it okay then."

"Abby, I can't change my actions any more than you could. I was in a dark place back then and it's taken me a while to figure things out."

"And now you have?" She dropped her hands back into her lap.

"I think so."

"But you never talk to me."

"I never stopped watching you. Maybe I did some things to hurt you, but I did a lot of things that hurt myself. It's just made me stronger, it's made you stronger too."

Her eyes narrowed, questioning him.

"If I hadn't gone you never would have become a doctor, you wouldn't be the strong, happy, confidant, independent woman in front of me."

"You think I'm happy?"

"You seem happy."

"I could have said the same about you, when you were with Wendal."

"I guess in a way I was happy."

"There was just something missing?" Abby caught his eye and Carter nodded, both connecting and finally coming to an understanding.

"So what happens now?" Carters asks, breaking the silence that had ensued.

"You tell me, Frank said Kem called and Chuni told me you had gone to Paris."

"You heard about that?"

"Everyone in the ER knows." The irony of that wasn't on either of them.

"I couldn't go. I thought I should, I got as far as the airport but it just didn't feel right. Half of me was telling me to get on the plane, and run to the woman who would have made me a family, but the other knew it wasn't meant to be. Then I got back to the ER and saw Jake, you've left him a complete wreck, and he pretty much told everyone that you'd broken up and that he was moving to San Francisco."

"So you thought you'd come and see if I was a complete wreck too?"

"No, I realised something. Something that had been hidden for a long time. So I came to tell you."

"Oh," her mouth formed the word, but the sound didn't come out.

"So what happens now?"

Abby looked at him, looked at her hands and finally back at him, fixing his gaze firmly with her eyes. "I never had a doubt about you."

Carter lent slowly towards her and softly placed a tiny kiss on the corner of her mouth, then whispered in her ear. "I'm not living without you."

**Authors Note:** Okay, so it's not my best work. (However, I have been working on something new and when chapter 3 is complete I may be posting it.) As ever, let me know what you think.


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